Willoughby Jackpot

New Poker Machine Laws

 Recent changes to gaming machine laws pushed through Parliament at 3am last Saturday appear likely to impact the Gemfields in unexpected ways.

 The particular clause in the new legislation of most concern revolves around the definition of a poker machine: “An electrical and/or mechanical device incorporating a game of chance and the possibility of financial reward.”

 This definition was written to encompass the wide variety of machines, from modern multi-line push-button money-Hoovers through to the clunky old “one-armed bandits” of the past. It was later realised that definition also applies to that most iconic of Gemfields devices… the Willoughby.

 Due to the unforeseen inclusion of the Willoughby in this definition an emergency appeal was lodged in the Supreme Court by the Gemfields Rockers Association, on the grounds that using a Willoughby involved sweat and hard work… terms not commonly associated with gambling. However, Justice Earwig dismissed the appeal stating that, as with other forms of gambling, Willoughby addicts risked time and money with little hope of reward. He also added that social costs of this illness were impossible to quantify.

 The new laws, effective from September 1st, require:

  1. Willoughby users to specify in advance how many buckets they will put through;

  2. An opt-out program to be established, prohibiting Bucket-o-Wash vendors from selling to Willoughby addicts who have added their names to a “bucket list.”

  3. The establishment of community support services for chronic Willoughby users;

  4. A tax of 67% on all fossicking finds will be levied to support these initiatives.

According to State Treasurer Ivana Newtaks, the definition was not intended to be so wide-ranging but, until Parliament returns from it’s 8 week Spring vacation, the new laws will stand as written. You have been warned!

September 14, 2012 · Posted in Cartoons, Gallery by Doug 


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